What I Learned About Myself This Year
Looking forward to what comes next.
2021 was supposed to be better than 2020… right? That was my sentiment twelve months ago, with the announcement of Pfizer’s Covid vaccine. I had so much hope that we’d finally be able to emerge from the isolated lifestyle we’d been maintaining for over nine months. I always reflect at the end of the year and what I wrote at the end of 2020 mirrored my exhaustion.
But 2021 kicked off with an insurrection. We got our vaccines in March, and our two older kids (ages 12 and 9) as soon as they were eligible. I quit my job in February, quit again in September, and my husband quit his job in August — so we were navigating a lot of changes. Toward the end of the year, it felt like things were going to be more normal in 2022… and then Omicron hit and now I’m back to anxiety and uncertainty.
Yet as I look back on 2021, I learned a lot about myself. 2020 felt like a year when I had no control over so many things: public health and safety, how my kids fared during remote learning, and how other people conducted themselves during the pandemic (i.e. defying the recommendations of science and health experts). Earlier this year, I told someone that I felt “trapped.” I held back tears as I said this, feeling all of the weight of 2020 on my shoulders.
2021 was the year I became “un-trapped.” I’m still worried about Omicron and there are still many things I can control. But I also made some huge changes in my life and couldn’t be happier with my decisions.
I set a lot of boundaries
Like many people across the scene of The Great Resignation, I said, “Not anymore” to a job I’d been at for fifteen years that no longer fulfilled me. I started at a new job in February of 2021 but then left that job at the end of September.
I thought I had work boundaries before. I have been a remote employee for most of my career and I knew how to separate work life and home life so I didn’t feel like I was “always working.” I worked reasonable hours and knew how to prioritize my family obligations.
Yet the boundaries I developed in 2021 were around my well-being, extending far beyond the hours I worked. I realized that I couldn’t be happy in a job unless I felt valued for my work, regardless of compensation. Beyond that, I wanted to feel like the company prioritized the wellbeing of its employees overall: that work was about more than company goals or profits.
I focused on work I enjoyed
I started doing freelance writing work in October of 2020. At the time, this was necessary: I needed to build a writing portfolio to pivot my career from fintech to content marketing. Throughout 2021, I learned to set boundaries as a freelancer, guarding my time and efforts, and only taking projects where I felt like I had enough subject-matter expertise to produce outstanding work.
I also got back to work on my own projects. Throughout 2020 I was so wrapped up in my kids and remote learning and trying to keep us sane throughout months of isolation. My mental health took a serious toll — an experience I know is shared by many. The days felt like survival mode.
In 2021, I put a lot of effort into myself. In addition to a much-needed change in career direction, I fiercely guarded time for my own projects. I began painting again — a hobby I started in early 2020 but had largely abandoned once the pandemic gripped the attention of my days. I worked on my writing, both professionally and personally, forming daily habits that will continue to benefit me in 2022 and beyond.
I found new communities of support
After 2020 took such a toll on me, I had to lean into people who could lift me up and make my life better. People who followed the guidance of science and medicine, versus those whose actions caused the pandemic to drag on. People who acknowledged the systemic issues in this country versus those who turned a blind eye or worked to dismantle progress. People who celebrated each other, always available in the low moments of rejection, anxiety, or disillusionment.
When 2021 began, I never anticipated that I would make so many wonderful new people. This was one of the greatest gifts of my career pivot. I got to meet some amazingly talented people who were not only supportive of my work but provided friendship as well.
Career pivots are hard. I left a lot of “knowns” for a lot of “unknowns.” There were times when I felt very isolated and was filled with self-doubt. Yet the new people I met became a net, catching me in those faltering moments. Now I hope to be the same for others — offering encouragement, resources, or a listening ear for people who say, “Enough. Something needs to change.”
Anna Burgess Yang
One final note
Two years ago, I adopted a cat from an animal shelter. It was the anniversary of trauma in my life, and the cat I chose crawled into my lap and started purring. I think she knew how much I was hurting, and that has proven to be true throughout her life with me.
Two weeks ago, I adopted another cat. During the meet and greet, I wasn’t sure if the cat would be a right fit for our family. The foster mom said that she was skittish and might not ever adjust to being around kids. But after about 30 minutes of petting the cat on my lap, I felt her entire body relax. She seemed to sink into my arms. Two of my kids were with me and I told them that I thought that this cat needed a family to love her, and I thought we could be that family. During her short time with us, she has completely transformed into a social, snuggly cat.
It feels like a full circle. I adopted a cat two years ago because I needed her. I adopted a cat two weeks ago because she needed me. I recognized the journey of the past two years. Welcoming this new cat into our home felt like the perfect way to close out 2021.
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