How to Adapt to a New Routine (Hint: Give Yourself Some Grace)
Change is unavoidable and an adjustment period is necessary.
Benjamin Franklin famously followed a daily routine that was broken down into six blocks of time:
- 5–7 a.m. Rise, wash and address Powerful Goodness! Contrive days’ business, and take the resolution of the day; prosecute the present study, and breakfast.
- 8–11 a.m. Work.
- 12–1 p.m. Read, or overlook my accounts and dine.
- 2–5 p.m. Work.
- 6–9 p.m. Put things in their places. Supper. Music or diversion, or conversation. Examination of the day.
- 10 p.m.-4 a.m. Sleep.
If Franklin was able to maintain that routine for years on end, I envy him. While I don’t have the mental fortitude to work in four-hour blocks of time, I would relish the predictability. In real life? My routine is constantly changing.
As someone who likes predictability, these changes are often hard on me. I get frustrated and feel like I’m always running behind. In reality, adjustment takes time. I’ve learned to give myself a few weeks as I settle into the changes. Sometimes I have to give myself a pep talk, saying, “The stress you’re feeling won’t last forever. You’ll get this new routine figured out.”
Over the years and many, many changes in routine, I’ve discovered a few tricks to make the transition easier.
Why routine changes feel hard
Routine changes feel hard because a daily routine is a connected set of habits. I'm a very routine-driven person. My days run a predictable course of getting my kids off to school, work, and household responsibilities.
Forced changes are the hardest, because you didn't get to set the pace. A new job, moving, or kids starting school can bring about huge changes in your daily life, and have demands on your time that are outside of your control.
As someone who likes predictability, these changes are often hard on me. I get frustrated and feel like I'm always running behind.
3 steps to adapt to a new routine
Over the years and many, many changes in routine, I've discovered a few tricks to make the transition easier.
1. Consider the full impact
Often, our perception of a routine change has tunnel vision. Does a new job mean a new start time for the day? We see only the new start time.
You have to follow the ripple effect. A new job might have a new wake-up time, but what else does that impact? Do you need to change your bedtime? Do you have more/less time for your morning routine?
It's those little, cascading changes that can really throw us off, sometimes without even knowing it.
Whatever the change — whether small or big — I try to think through how everything will "fit" into my day:
- If I set aside time to do X, do I need to give up Y?
- If I can't give up Y, where does Y go?
- If Y goes to a different time, what happens to Z?
Eventually, there has to be an endpoint. We all have the same number of hours in a day. Adding something new means something else has to give, and you have to make decisions about the tradeoffs.
I find that I have to be realistic when I make changes to my routine. I have a daily mix of productive and unproductive time. Setting aside time to listen to a podcast sounds great… but is that how I want to spend my downtime? (usually, yes) Would I prefer to do something else with my time?
2. Track your routine and your progress
After a routine change (whether voluntary or forced), notice what happens. You're trying to settle into a groove and see how it works.
It's important to not give up too early. Any routine changes can take time. Give a new routine at least 30 days before you decide whether it works, and expect the first two weeks to be the worst of it.
Sometimes you can make incremental changes. If your goal is to wake up 30 minutes earlier, start with 10 minutes. If your routine involves exercising 4x per week, start with 2x.
With deliberate routine changes, some people are far too aspirational about it, the way they might be with a New Year's resolution: an hour of exercise every single day, starting Monday. That's not realistic. It might fall apart in the first week and feels like evidence that you can't stick to anything.
30 days is a good benchmark to check in with yourself and see how things are going. If it's still working at that point, set a 90-day goal.
3. Give yourself grace during the adjustment
When you have to make a change in your routine due to life circumstances, give yourself some grace. Everyone involved — you, your significant other, your kids — might be cranky at first. It can make for a rough transition.
During big changes, like the start of a new school year, I have found myself saying, "Wow, this is really awful." The cascade effect has impacted my mood, my interactions with others, and my sense of stability. Sometimes I have to give myself a pep talk, saying, "The stress you're feeling won't last forever. You'll get this new routine figured out."
It won't always feel so unsettling. You'll feel out of sorts, maybe even for months. But you'll adjust.
It's important to give yourself some breathing room. Take a day off to catch up or refocus yourself if your routine really feels "off." Let’s say your new job made your commute longer. Now you have less time in the morning and evening and need to work around that. If you need to schedule a “catch-up day,” do it.
Acknowledge that change is hard and takes time.
Anna Burgess Yang
When a routine change isn't working
It should get easier as time passes. After a month, I'll evaluate my progress. Did I do better each week, or was it hard to adjust? If it was hard to adjust, I'll try to figure out why. I'll look back at the cascading impact. Maybe it's still something I want to do (back to my podcast example), but I picked a time of day that just doesn't work.
Then there might be other times when you can feel comfortable abandoning the effort, and that's ok too. I've had a whole week of time blocking fall apart, but I looked at what happened and tried again the following week.
There are differences between “I cannot adapt to this change” and “I need to do some tweaking” and “I need to give myself more time to adjust.”
Tips for settling into a new routine
- Start small, if you can. Incremental changes are easier than overhauling your whole schedule at once.
- Write it down. A visual tracker, even an X on a paper calendar, can give you a sense of accomplishment since you can see your streak.
- Expect a ripple effect. One change in our routine can impact other parts in ways you didn’t consider.
- Give it 30 days. New routines feel awkward at first, and a month is long enough to settle in.
- Be realistic about tradeoffs. Adding something new to your day means giving up something else. Decide what that is upfront.
- Take a reset day if you need one. If you feel underwater, take a day off and regroup.
FAQs
How long does it take to adjust to a new routine?
Give yourself at least 30 days before deciding whether a new routine is working, and expect the first two weeks to feel the hardest. Habit changes take longer to settle than most people plan for, so an uncomfortable start is not a sign that you can’t adapt.
Why do routine changes feel so stressful?
A daily routine is a connected set of habits, so changing one thing often forces several others to move. The stress comes from adjusting to all of it at once, and it’s harder if the change is tied to something you can’t control, like the start time of a new job.
What is the best way to build a new daily habit?
Start with the smallest version of the habit and let it follow something you already do. consistently. For example, if you have a consistent morning routine, you can probably add something new into that routine. Resist changing several things at once. Incremental progress is a lot easier than a dramatic overhaul.
